Tom gets down off the couch,
and resolves his divorce in an amicable, sensible, fashion.
Go figure.
Well.
The tabloid dream.
This was the Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes divorce.
It had all the makings of a never-ending make-work project for the gossip magazines, didn't it?
The highest-paid movie star in the world, Tom Cruise, vs. Hollywood beauty, Katie Holmes.
The Catholic v. the Scientologist.
The demure young woman v. the couch-jumping crazed superstar.
National Enquirer, the Star, and CNN.. all the gossip rags were salivating over what was sure to be a nasty public bloodletting where all of the embarassing little secrets of what brought about the demise of the TomKat marriage would be finally exposed for everyone to see.
Except that's not what happened.
Yesterday, we hear that only 11 days after Katie Holmes filed for divorce, it was settled.
No lurid public hearings.
No public exchange of allegations and justifications.
Just an amicable, private resolution of their marriage dissolution.
How could this happen? How could the public be denied the ability to cheer their good guy (or gal) on through months and months of public battles?
Well, apparently THIS is how:
Really?
You wanted to keep your family matters private and express respect for each other's roles as parents?
You wanted your child to not experience, first hand, the trauma of a nasty and brutish divorce?
Go figure.
Now.
While the TomKat divorce was not, it appears, a formal collaborative divorce resolution, it does illustrate the great benefit of entering into a committed effort to find a solution, without recourse to the antiquated and uncertain litigation process.
Two adults, it appears, found a way to resolve their differences in a private process to their mutual benefit and to the great benefit of their child.
Well done.
Now.
Rest assured.
If someone had a good look at the details of the divorce, I can guarantee you that there are scores of hot-shot divorce litigators who would shudder at what was "left on the table".
Tom - you gave up parenting too quickly, you could have obtained a shared custody order - your settlement denied the validity of your faith as against the Catholic faith.. you should have fought to have your beliefs respected.
Katie - you could have leveraged the validity of the prenuptial agreement to obtain a more significant settlement. And how could you possibly know that Tom had disclosed all of his income and assets without weeks and weeks of depositions and forensic financial analysis?
Sure.
And it might even be true.
Maybe Tom could have succeeded in obtaining an order preventing his daughter from attending a Catholic school.
Maybe Katie could have obtained more money.
But at what cost?
At what risk?
Are either of them going to be going to a soup kitchen anytime soon?
Would their daughter have been a happier child if her parents had argued over custody and religious education issues for months and months - only entrenching anger and bitterness between them?
Hardly.
This is the best example of what is possible if people put anger, pain, and greed aside, and put their child first, and put a value on privacy and speedy resolution.
This is the best example of why couples faced with divorce, like Tom and Katie, MIGHT want to look into the Collaborative Divorce process.
